Lance the Turtle
About Lance the Turtle is a Silly Song/Ukulele Karaoke from Gideon: Tuba Warrior. Cast of characters Bob the Tomato as himself. Jean-Claude Pea as himself Phillippe Pea as himself Wiggly Turtle Tubies as themselves Lyrics Narrator: And now it's time for Ukulele Karaoke with Bob. The part of the show when Bob comes out and sings an Ukulele Karaoke. Bob: Uh, what's going on? (Jean-Claude comes in) Jean-Claude: You're doing the Ukulele Karaoke, no? Bob: No, I'm on a break. This is the Pirates'-- Jean-Claude: They are busy with the rest of the show. Bob: B-But I don't even know the song. (Jean-Claude gives Bob lyrics) Jean-Claude: You're lyrics, monsieur. (to Phillipe) Bring in the props! Bob: But- Phillipe: Waikiki! (palm tree prop, volcano prop, and lamp falls in) (Phillipe comes in with fan) Your island breeze, monsieur! Bob: Hold on a sec! I'm totally unprepared to do a solo! (WTT come in) Jean-Claude: Your back-up singers. Bob: What? Isn't that the- Jean-Claude: Oui, they are the Wiggly Turtle Toobies! Bob: The Wiggly Turtle Toobies? They look taller on TV. WTT: So do you, tomato! Bob: But really, this is Larry's gig! I can't just-- Jean-Claude: The show must go on, monsieur! (music begins) Quick, that is your cue! Just follow along, you will be fine. Bob: But-- WTT: (singing) Lance the Turtle! Aloha, Lance! Lance the Turtle, dance-dance-dance! Lance the Turtle! Aloha, Lance! Lance the Turtle, dance-dance-dance! Bob: (singing) Well, I keep a little turtle at my Uncle and my Aunt's. My auntie's name is Myrtle, and my island turtle's name is Lance. He doesn't wander far, even if he has a chance. He just plays his ukulele and he does the hula dance! What? WTT: Lance the Turtle! Aloha, Lance! (hula dancer dances in) Lance the Turtle, dance-dance-dance! Lance the Turtle! Aloha, Lance! Lance the Turtle, dance-dance-dance! Bob: He threw a luau barbeque one breezy summer night. (Phillipe turns on fan) Invited all his turtle pals to come and have a wiki bite. The turtles started walking there as Lance began to swing. The one who lived across the street arrived there in the Spring! Oh, I get it! Turtles are slow, so it took him a long time. That's pretty good! WTT: Lance the Turtle! Aloha, Lance! Lance the Turtle, dance-dance-dance! Bob: But Lance just kept on cooking, he was grilling full of glee! (sits on chair) He was marinating ribs cause he liked- (lyrics shred through fan) Uh... (reading pieces of lyrics) "Syrup with his feta cheese?" I-I'm sorry, I- (Jean-Claude and Phillipe tape up lyrics and give them to Bob) Lance's purple turtle shell has ketchup if you please. Pineapples are shiny! Spotted tiki bumblebees?! Oh, man! WTT: Lance the Turtle! Aloha, Lance! Lance the Turtle, dance-dance-dance! Bob: Wait a minute, guys. I don't think this is right. It doesn't make any sense! Phillipe: It works for us! Ha-ha! Bob: But- Jean-Claude: The song! The song! Bob: Uh... There are luscious chocolate fingers, spinning slowly in the school. Mele Kalikimaka. Fluffy bunnies driving in the pool! Uh, Larry?! A thousand igloos wax the beach, spray luggage in the tree! Raining puppies, flying clowns. Flossing punahele- (hula dancer falls on Bob) Ow! Oh, forget it. (Bob leaves) Phillipe: Oh-ho! Alpaca sneezes coconuts! Tahini yo-yo leg! Wahine whisky jelly sauce, don't make the fuzzy parrot beg! Jean-Claude: Paper, plastic porcupines! The horsey makes his bed! The humu-humu-nuku-nuku-apua'ua wasn't fed! WTT: Lance the Turtle! Aloha, Lance! (continuing under dialogue) Lance the Turtle, dance-dance-dance! Lance the Turtle! Aloha, Lance! Lance the Turtle, Narrator:' This has been Ukulele Karaoke with Bob. Tune in next time when Bob says:' Bob: I'll be in my dressing room. WTT: Dance-dance-dance! Category:Silly Songs